Letting go~~

Things that i shouldn't hold on to, let go; things that i shouldn't remember, forget about it; things that i shouldn't worried, clear off. However all this is not easy to learn.

Man's theory is plan before action make a success, yet is it true? I really doubt about it. When you start to plan, you start to think. When the time you think too much, troubles and worries come. So when you are planning to achieve goal A, here come route 1. Yet when you think of the probability of problemQ will occur as you taking route 1, here come the alternative way, route 2. Somehow there maybe another problemR occue as you're on route 2, so another alternative, route 3 pops up. This process goes on and on, when will we finished planning? Am i thinking too much? Maybe. But this is just an exaggerate illustration about the situation that sometimes human kind simply think too much, whereby they lead all the trouble into their life with their own hand.

We as human, there are so many things in this life remains unknown to us. There is so many uncertainty. Is it what shows in the movie 2012 will really happen in reality? Who knows? I can tell you the exact answer to this question. God knows. The God who creates the heaven and the earth, who creates Adam and Eve, who creates us in His very own image. He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He will bring answer to all your question. How? Accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal saviour, believe in Him, confess your sin. The Holy Spirit will be your guide and give you wisdom to understand what is His will for you to live in this earth.

I had told my friend that if i did not believe in the Lord, i will not be heret today. I will choose to end my life, without Lord i find no purpose to stay in this earth. I can't see anything that bring meaning to my life, everything to me is so meaningless. You don't trust me? Check His word, Bible. Bible will show you the truth when you read it with an open heart. The Lord will surely speak to you.

May the Lord show you His grace and mercy. Learn to let go of your thinking, let His thinking dwell in you, then you will find meaning in life.

化学作用

生命是一段奇妙的路程。在你行走的当儿，你会遇到种种的人，事，物。人总爱为自己的人生有所计划，但往往生命就是有很多你意料不到的小插曲。就是因为这些小插曲，生命多了一份惊喜。这样的生命不是更有趣吗？不同的人相遇，也会产生不同不同的化学作用，有的称为友情，有的是爱情。但有时候，一个不小心，化学作用也会变了样。有的从友情化为爱情，有的则从爱情化为无情，有的爱情友情理不清。是不是开始被搞糊涂了？呵呵~ 若你不明白，那就对了，生命岂是我们凡人所能了解的，对吗？

哎，老实说，我也快搞不懂这化学作用~~~ 神其实为我们已有所预备，他所预备的，相信是对我们是最好的，因为没人比他更了解我们。所以我好怕好怕，有时自己所感觉到的化学作用，只是自己凭空想象出来的，或是自己根本没真正了解这些所谓的化学作用……

萤火虫~我的奖赏！！呵呵！

过去的星期五和星期六都在教会参加由陈金泰牧师主讲的特别聚会……总觉得一切都是来得正是时候……在这两天聚会当中，我自己一直无法解开的问题，主都一一帮我解开了……真是感谢神~~~ (^v^)
学到了好多好多的东西~~ 学习许多与世界相反的论理~~~ 比如世界教导我们，我们学习看人家的好，不看人家的不好……试问当你只看人家的好，当别人不好的时候，你会怎样？难道人家露出不好的一面时，你不生气吗？当然会生气啊！他竟然与你的预期有所出入……反而如果你打从一开始，你就看见人的好与不好，学习接受别人一定有好和不好，那么当你看见他不好时，你就不会生气，因为这就跟你预期的一样……要记得圣经早就说，世上没好人……大家都带着罪出生……不信？！那小孩子讲骗话，难道是父母教的吗？这些不需要教他们都会……
当晚，圣灵引导我们去关心爸爸~~自从爸爸做现在这一份工后，他就少了很多时间陪我们……牧师说，就算爸爸没空，我们依然要关心她，爱他，因为他是我们的爸爸~~ 当晚，回到大山脚都接近11。30pm了，我们就去帮爸爸……哈哈，结果我们似乎没帮到什么的，但我知道爸爸很开心……我们陪爸爸到12点多，确定爸爸要收店了，我们才走……
就在我们要上车的那一刻……呃，那亮亮一小点的究竟是什么东西啊？是萤火虫啊！！我相信这是神给我的小小奖赏……在现在这个时代，科技日渐发达，高楼一座又一座的建了起来，萤火虫的栖息地都一一被毁了……所以可以看到萤火虫，真的是我的福份，我的奖赏！！\(^.^)/

My days in Jit Sin for Program Induksi Kendiri

“老师，你是实习老师吗？”“不是，那你是临教吗？”这是三星期以来，学生爱问我的问题。其实，我既不是实习老师，也不是临教。到日新国中观察的五个星期，其实是我的课程所需。在还未到学校实习之前，我们必须去任何一件中学观察。
感谢神，我得以选自己要观察的学校……五个星期虽长，但光阴似箭，我已经在日新待了近三个星期，也经历了好多事情，也从中学了不少。
一开始，还真的是挺闷的~~~很开心在第一天，我去观察一位经济老师的课，与4c2"n"4c4有所接触……两班给人很不同的感觉，教书的虽是同一位，但两班给予的反应是不同的。当然我可以了解为何班上的学生对那老师不理不睬，各自做自己的事情。。。那一刻我真得很害怕，如果我真的教他们，他们会一样各自做自己的是，对我不理不睬？？那时我就真的不知该如何是好……你们有哪个是身为学生的，可以告诉我这个未来老师，你们希望老师怎么教书。叹气~~
接下来，也到各班代课……有时很无聊，有时还蛮有趣的~~ （^.^） 学生总爱问奇奇怪怪的问题~~ 哈哈，我想这样的事只会发生在近几年，老师若老了后，我就不信学生还会问……现在我还年轻，与他们代沟不大……
后来考试一个星期前，我得以进班教学生，我真得很开心。我需要教的有四班，4c1,4c2,4c3, 还有4c4，各有两节课……我真的好希望在考试前的两堂课，帮助他们预备考试……但是就如同长辈所说的“帮助别人就等于为自己铺路”，在为他们预备笔记时，就等于准备了我在实习所需预备的笔记的一半……
在教着每一班都有不同的经历，也更清楚知道回答考试的技巧及所需要注意的事项……每一班的学生都好有趣，也给我带来了不少欢乐~~
今天他们的经济考试后，我去了解他们考到如何，他们的回答让我觉得好愧疚……我觉得似乎因为我教了他们，导致他们更混淆，不懂如何回答考试……深深的对不起…… (T.T)

Lecturer's question & My answer.. Lol

Yesterday had spanish class. We study about different places and things in spain... We learning to form sentences to answer question like "Where is ...?" & "Is there ....?". So mainly the verb we used is estan and hay... Then we learn about comparison, like tallest, more tall than, etc..

One part that we need to do is fill in the blank with the words given.. So happen the sentence goes like this "El puerto de Rotterdam es el mas grande de Europa.", which mean the Rotterdam port is the biggest in Europe. And i knew the lecturer goin to ask us where is Rotterdam... Iskss... My knowledge about the world right? i can say is super duper poor... None of my classmate know where is it too... So i just simply guess any country, but i think some country i tell is not in Europe, hahaha!!! like Britain, Finland, Australia...

And lecturer's reaction was just like how i expected it to be, "O my God, you all don't know where is it???". Thus she ask us a question, "Didn't you learn about map? What you learn all this while?". Guess what my answer...

My answer to her "we learn sejarah about Msia lo!".... LoL... XD

I am so....!!!

This is my first post in this blog.. Just to write down my thought, feeling..

Today having a presentation(teaching method in Economics) early in the morning... I really hate presentation early in the morning... coz i'm too sleepy... But this doesnt matter much, coz i can go back to sleep after the presentation.

But after the presentation just now... Cant go back to sleep, coz I'm in a super down mood.. I never had such feeling, feel so worthless after doing the presentation...

I never thought i will be that blur until i forgot to bring my pendrive which consists my presentation file, on the presentation that day itself. When i realize that already 8.55am, 5 min more we are going to start presentation.. Other than anxious and worry, i cant think of others feeling that i had for that moments...

Thanks for my housemate helping me to take it and i rush to fetch her... It's already 10 minits later when i reach the smartboard lab, and lecturer already there.

How can i present with such anxious, worries?? I'm so guilty coz my partner also panic because of that... Extremely sad..

When the time i present, i just couldnt present well... feel like losing all the malay vocabulary, what come to mind is only english vocab... During presentation, I realise i dont know my students'(others friends attending the same tutorial) name, how am i going to ask them question without knowing who they are...

After the presentation, the lecturer criticise our teaching... I feel so unworthy after the whole presentation..

In this moment, I really know God surely opposes the proud... I thought I can always be steady enough for my presentation, since i can speak well.. But, at that moment, when i can't even think of any vocab, make me realise I'm just NOTHING without God. If God doesnt with you, there is nothing you can do.

It was all my fault, too proud.. too blur... Forgive me, Father.

Exteremely sad at the corner,
zoe